I had a dream!!!!!!! (well, sort of a dream)
Here are MY predictions for 2009 and (beyond).......
TO's new reality show will fall in ratings when Tony Romo inks a contract to star in a series opposite TO. With Jessica Simpson as co-star, the series will features the Cowboys going 0-16 with Simpson in the booth and Jones on the sidelines. TO demands to be traded, and is thrown to the Lions. TO commits suicide in week one.
OJ will find Jesus in Jail, and will pen a new book, OK, I Did It!!!!!
(Now Can I Just Have My Stuff Back???)
Oprah will lose an incredible 75 pounds on a new Dr. Oz diet.....
Called the 'Munchkin diet'.....she will eat nothing but those little donut holes for a year. I do see her getting a yeast infection though, as she will be briefly hospitalized. Shortly after, with a glazed look, she will tell her audience that she is leaving Stedman for Dr. Oz. Oz will publish a best seller called "How Oz Gave Oprah her first real 'O.'"
Dr. Drew will find himself in Celebrity Rehab after he comes clean admitting a two year love affair with Adam Carolla, and a one night stand he had with Dr. Ruth on her 80th birthday.
Rush Limbaugh will convert to liberalism, open his fridge, and feed the world. Finally, no Bush, no Rush, as the world has a Hush fall upon it.
Katie Couric will go back to the Today Show and put cute back on her resume.
A legless woman will appear on The View as an advocate for woman who step on each others toes unmercifully.
The Dali Lama will pass away. Calling it his Final Analysis, Richard Gere will become his replacement. However the stay in exile will be short lived when he is photographed kissing and dipping Lucy Liu in his Buddha bungalow.
A cure for Mad Cow Disease will be found~! Doctors claim that by drinking brown cow milk, the disease disappears. Unfortunately, it causes a side effect called happy horse s**t syndrome.
The Dow-Jones hits a new LOW~ In a daring move, execs at NBC
bring back Tony Dow (Beaver's Brother) and Shirley Jones (Partridge)to star in a new reality series. Its called 'Leave It to a Partridge' and a Beaver. In episode one, Danny wants Beav to do meth and go cruising for men in drag. Beav opts for a soda. Danny is a jerk. Ward points the finger at Danny. Danny gives the finger two Ward. June makes dinner. All is better.
President Obama will have Guantaamno Bay terrorists coming into American prisons. However, he will send: OJ Simpson, Bernard Madoff, Michael Vick, Ted Haggard, the guy who said he killed JonBenet, Rush Limbaugh, and Screech, all there for some old fashioned toe nail pulling, chalkboard screeching and Barry Manilow listening.
In a tough economy, Paris Hilton will file for bankruptcy. To makes ends meet she will release a new fragrance called "Simply Broke"....
with perfume proceeds benefiting Paris's pradas, purses, pedicures, and pink particulars.
Rod Blagojevich will announce despite his impeachment, he will seek a 2012 run for President with Sen. John Kerry as his running mate.
They will both run under strict Big Hair Reform policies stating: the Dry Look is back. Rod will use in his Victory speech, "Forget the days of Play to Pay.... its now, A Pair for Hair!!!
More predictions later ya'll!!!!
