WHACKY HEADLINES

Because of the economy, many females are being lured to fast cash in the stripper industry. As part of his stimulus plan , Barack Obama announced today that some rules will have to be put in place.

1.) A flat tax will be assessed on women who do not have minimum of 32 chest size.

2.) Waist size will be closely monitored to cut down on pork belly spending.

3.) Senior Citizens will be allowed to use their discount cards for 15% off any lap dance.



Henry Winkler has just been question about his alleged involvement in a 'Fonzie' sheme. He was quoted as saying, "Hey, Mr. C....."sorry I 'Made Off' with your hardware." Raplph Malph lost his whoopi cushions, Potsie lost his sweater and Joanie lost Chachi in the mayhem.

Michael Jackson tickets went on sale today. Michael announced because of the recent sale of most of his personal belongings, he will be forced to perform the show nude.
The tour will be called the Nevermind Tour.

Kevin Bacon announced today because of losing money in the Madoff money scam scheme, He will do Footloose 2, The Air Up There 2, Quicksilver 2, and He Said, She Said 2. Because of the surge of Bacon films, the game has announced plans to now become Two Degrees of Kevin Bacon.


Wal-Mart workers will receive 2 billion in bonus checks this year. On a related note, Wal Mart clothing Sweat shop workers in Bangladesh will get bonus increases from a dime an hour up to 15 cents. Also the smiley face guy will get a stimulus check for $1.85. His smile will increase to one centimeter wider in 2009.
iT'S GOOD TO BE WAL-MART~

Fidelity and Unicredit have put together a deal to purchase the fledgling AIG Insurance company from the US Government. The new company will be called FU AIG!

An A an I and a G trivia!

1.) What was the original name of the Pittsburgh Pirates at their original inception in 1887? (A)

2.) What kind of 'delicious' did ads describe Almond Joy and Mounds as? (I)

3.) Peter, Egon, Ray, and Winston, were better known as The_______________? (G)


1.) Allegheny's
2,) Indescribably
3.) Ghostbusters

Dancing With the Inmates

In celebration if Dancing With the Stars just kicking off a brand new season, I thought of a brand new competition for the off-season.....Dancing With the Inmates~


Here is the line -up I would like to see:

OJ Simspon with Cheryl Burke dancing the Jive.,

Michael Vick with Julianne Hough dancing with the Hokey in the Pokey.

Boy Geoge with Mark Ballas dancing the Lap Dance.

Charles Barkley with Kym Johnson dancing the Chest Bump

Madea with Karina Smirnoff dancing the Humpty Hump

Khloe Kardashian and Fabian Sanchez dancing the Pole.

Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer Still Kickin' it?

Orem, Utah recently featured two blends from the past, Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer for a one night only event. No, not celebrity boxing~!
They actually did their 'thangs'~ With raps like Pumps and a Bump, Ninja Rap, and their A-list stuff, they were Too Legit to Quit easily bringing down the house in Orem. I have been Dj'ing for many years now, and somehow the cheesy flavors of those rhymes still have people mouthing the words, imitating the dance, and grinding on the floor. I am not amazed by it, actually. Some of those songs had good beats and were just plain fun. A Hammer and Ice esCapades Tour for '09? I don't think it is by no means imminent. But I'll bet it would sell! I would go see it! Wouldn't you?

Here are some other tickets I woulds go see!

Musical Youth and Sonic Youth in the "We're All Grown Tour"

Quiet Riot and Twisted Sister in the "Lost our Minds and then our Hair Tour"

AC/DC and INXS in the "Sorry Our Lead Singer Died Tour"

Milli Vinilli with with The Partridge Family & special guests Ashlee Simpson and Lin Miaoke in the "All-Star Lips Sync Tour"

Kajagoogoo with Wang Chung in the "Everybody Smoke Dope Tonight and Think of Weird Band Name Tour."

The Divinyls and MC Hammer in the "Do I Touch or Not Tour?"

Right Said Fred and Rod Stewart in the "I'm Too Sexy, No I Am Tour"

69 Boyz and Bow Wow Wow in the "Lets Me See Your Tootsie Roll Then Give Me Some Mo' Damn Candy Tour."

Taco and Falco in the "Amadeus Puts on the Ritz Tour"
(yes i know Falco is dead)

Meatloaf and Bread in the "Make Out in the Back Seat Tour"

Los del Rio and Marcia Griffiths in the "Electric Macarena Tour. "


Quick Ice/Hammer Quiz ---- Which one?

1.) Had first rap single to top Billboard Charts?
2.) Did more studio albums?
3.) On Surreal life?
4.) With Death Row Records at one time?
5.) Was in Borat film?

1.) Ice---Ice Ice Baby
2.) Hammer 11 to 7
3.) Both! Ha~
4.) Hammer
5.) Hammer


PEACE OUT!
Word to your mom!