WHACKY HEADLINES

Because of the economy, many females are being lured to fast cash in the stripper industry. As part of his stimulus plan , Barack Obama announced today that some rules will have to be put in place.

1.) A flat tax will be assessed on women who do not have minimum of 32 chest size.

2.) Waist size will be closely monitored to cut down on pork belly spending.

3.) Senior Citizens will be allowed to use their discount cards for 15% off any lap dance.



Henry Winkler has just been question about his alleged involvement in a 'Fonzie' sheme. He was quoted as saying, "Hey, Mr. C....."sorry I 'Made Off' with your hardware." Raplph Malph lost his whoopi cushions, Potsie lost his sweater and Joanie lost Chachi in the mayhem.

Michael Jackson tickets went on sale today. Michael announced because of the recent sale of most of his personal belongings, he will be forced to perform the show nude.
The tour will be called the Nevermind Tour.

Kevin Bacon announced today because of losing money in the Madoff money scam scheme, He will do Footloose 2, The Air Up There 2, Quicksilver 2, and He Said, She Said 2. Because of the surge of Bacon films, the game has announced plans to now become Two Degrees of Kevin Bacon.


Wal-Mart workers will receive 2 billion in bonus checks this year. On a related note, Wal Mart clothing Sweat shop workers in Bangladesh will get bonus increases from a dime an hour up to 15 cents. Also the smiley face guy will get a stimulus check for $1.85. His smile will increase to one centimeter wider in 2009.
iT'S GOOD TO BE WAL-MART~

Fidelity and Unicredit have put together a deal to purchase the fledgling AIG Insurance company from the US Government. The new company will be called FU AIG!

An A an I and a G trivia!

1.) What was the original name of the Pittsburgh Pirates at their original inception in 1887? (A)

2.) What kind of 'delicious' did ads describe Almond Joy and Mounds as? (I)

3.) Peter, Egon, Ray, and Winston, were better known as The_______________? (G)


1.) Allegheny's
2,) Indescribably
3.) Ghostbusters